Hello....is anyone still out there?

It has been quite a long time since I decided to make a post. I was looking at the blog date, and it tells me that for approximately two months, I have tried to live in total oblivion and pretend that my life was simply filled with the good old chaos that existed prior to cancer entering our lives. It is very difficult to maneuver through all the yadda-yadda that seems to come with the territory. Shea had her procedure and we were waiting patiently to hear all about the results... Well, here's a news flash.....we STILL don't know. I kid you not.....not a word. Other than "it wasn't quite as successful as we had hoped.". Really? That's all you've got? As my father-in-law used to say...."I can kick a pig in the butt and get more out of it than that!" I am translating this to mean that the news sucks, and so no one wants to deliver it ( killing of the messenger and all that jazz). Kelt thinks that this means that the news is good, and so they don't feel like they need to tell us. It will probably take another year before they say anything, so I would tell you that I will let you know when I know....but I probably won't know. Just number 676 of the things that are beginning to annoy me about this cancer cruise. We were told that the chemo treatments that Shea has been having stopped being effective about a month ago, so they gave her a break for a couple of weeks and we will start with a new concoction of chemo drugs this Wednesday the 30th. I am not looking forward to the change, since this drug causes extreme nausea and vomiting.....not exactly on my list, or Shea's list, of things to do for a good time. Another side effect is the loss of hair, so we are holding our breath and praying that , in Shea's case, that won't happen. I had promised Shea way back when this started, that if she lost her hair, I would lose mine too....so I am planning a kick-butt wig wardrobe.....just in case. I'm thinking something along the lines of a Nicki Minage, a Lady Godiva and a black, punk rock do.....kind of like something Pink would wear to a bar fight. What I (and especially Kelt, who knows I can be quite frightening) am praying for is that I never have to worry about it because Shea won't lose her hair...done deal. Speaking of hair...... Shea is looking really sassy and sexy and is rocking a new look. Her boyfriends Mom treated her to a salon session in Park City over Thanksgiving break, and she looks good! I think when she feels good, she should spend her time walking a few runways! It has been nice to have her able to spend so much time with friends and family. It is fun for me to see her all dressed up instead of in bed in pajamas (although she has always looked really good while she does that.....many people can't believe that she is so sick when they see her. In fact, she was telling me that she is tired of the dirty looks she gets when she is riding in a wheelchair.....especially when she stands up to stretch her legs. It makes me catch how many times in a day I would make snap judgements and decisions about people without ever really having the facts. If anything good can be said about cancer, it is the fact that it teaches you many things about yourself that you otherwise would never know or understand. I think I am becoming kinder and more mellow (my family will tell you otherwise, but don't say anything to me.....I want to be as delusional as possible, thank you very much.). So the upshot of the long silence is this......no new knowledge as pertains to the liver procedure. It wasn't as successful as they had hoped, so jury is still out on the re-do option; we will be starting a new chemotherapy beginning on the 30th; the family is hanging in there, but feeling somewhat like cancer hostages; we really do feel grateful for all of the tender mercies and beautiful moments that our Heavenly Father generously gives us, and I am officially addicted to Coke, which makes me a liquid coke addict. We need intervention......most certainly, divine.