It's All Good

Shea recently had new scans done at Huntsman, and when they call and want your family to come meet with the team to discuss them the following day; you know the news is not going to be good.  The cancer has spread to other areas of her body and has gotten larger where it already was.  I was crying all the way home from work, and I could tell that Kelton was pretty rattled, as well.  Shea seemed to be taking it all in stride, which is what Shea does....but I know she just hides her fears and sadness, so that Kelt and I won't see it.  She has always been like that...not wanting to burden anyone or cause more hassle than she deems necessary. After the initial shock, we were able to think about the next steps....then we went home and got late-night spray tans....but that is a whole different story.  On Monday, she will go back to FU-5, Avastin and some other new-fangled concoction that the FDA has just approved....it should be interesting to learn the name of this new crappola coming our way.  Because of the placement of new lesions, Shea is in a lot of fairly constant pain.  She is my hero when I realize just how much she does and pushes "through".  We have talked as a family, and decided that we are going to fulfill a "bucket list" trip for Shea.  As we talked with her team of doctors, they felt like mid-October would be a perfect time for her to go.  It gives them time to get her stabilized on the new treatment so that she can be as pain free and comfortable as possible, without waiting so long that she would go and be unable to have fun and participate, or perhaps not have health sufficient to be able to go at all.   Please send prayers our way that we can make this happen.  She is such an amazing young woman and so deserves a fun and as care-free as possible time to just live and love and laugh.  That is truly our goal.  She is so supportive of everyone else in our family....we are excited to try to help support her in some small way.  Yesterday, she worked so hard to help Jenessa have a wonderful Peach Queen competition experience.  She was busy working on Jenessa's make-up and hair.  I knew her back was killing her, but she didn't want to stop until it was finished.  What an amazing job she did....anyone who saw it would agree that Jenessa was stunning....so Shea really outdid herself in creating the "perfect look".  Jenessa won Miss Congeniality (we are all soooo proud), so afterwards, Hammer Photography was grabbing a few family photos.  I looked to my left, and all I could see was three gorgeous daughters....beautiful inside and out.  I looked to my left and there was Nick and Kelt....my two homeboys .....and emotions just bubbled up.  There they all were smiling for the camera....and I was bawling and trying to smile, too.  I'm sure I looked positively 'postal' or something along those lines....but I just couldn't stop.  I can't believe how very lucky and blessed I am to have these amazing people in my life.  I was missing my other kids....and thinking of them....and realizing that no matter how far away they are....I just love them so much.  I just know I'm really not ready for Shea to "move on"....and I have told her so.  She assures me that she is not ready to go either, so we are going to continue to fight the good fight.  As usual, Shea will be doing all the hard work while I sit on my butt and watch (fairly typical of me, if you believe anything my siblings say), but at least we will be together.....because that's what it is all about....knowing that you are with people you love who have your back.....and you have theirs....and knowing that no matter what comes....love will never change....so it's all good.