Scatter Sunshine

I've never met Lanta Wilson Smith, but I'm fairly positive that I would absolutely adore her. Or him, I'm not really sure which, but with a first name of Lanta, I'm going for a girl (Of course, I grew up down the street from Laverne, and he didn't take kindly to people confusing him for a girl just because of a name...but at least he was smart enough to go by the name of 'Butch") So back to Lanta...she/he is the one responsible for the lyrics to LDS hymn number 230. It is called Scatter Sunshine and the lyrics go like this: In a world where sorrow ever will be known, Where are found the needy and the sad and lone, How much joy and comfort you can all bestow, If you scatter sunshine everywhere you go. Scatter sunshine all along your way, cheer and bless and brighten every passing day. Now either Miss Lanta was a sweet, kind and gentle lady, or she was a scamp who knew the value of a good old-fashioned parable (layers of the onion and all that jazz). I hope she was a scamp with an agricultural background who decided to write a hymn that could appeal to both saints and sinners (guess which camp I'm in?), because any one who grew up on or near a farm knows that scattering sunshine is what you are doing when you are spreading copious amounts of cow manure around on the fields. Finally, something I'm good at!! And I get to sing about its merits!! I have been spreading huge amounts of B.S. merrily around almost all my life. Some would claim that I have made it a career....I choose to think of it as a hobby or a delightful little pastime. Just think of all the joy and comfort I have been able to bestow while I was scattering sunshine everywhere I go (went....whatever). So I choose to think that Miss Lanta knew all of this information and she needed a little "feel good" hymn that could give her the giggles every once in a while....and I appreciated the fact that I giggled my way through all three verses on Sunday...I really needed the lift. And life shouldn't be so serious all of the time. It was great to giggle on Sunday, because I had almost talked myself into not going to church. I had the feeling that everyone kept looking at me waiting for the 'great melt-down/temper tantrum/fall apart'. I'm just not feeling it as my girls would say. I still have such a feeling of peace and calm even in the midst of all of the chaos and bad news...so it's been really difficult to muster up a nervous breakdown. I don't have the time or the inclination...so I was feeling badly about not being able to respond the way I felt people were expecting me to...so that translated into not going anywhere, including church. But I realized something while singing that crazy hymn...I was busy scattering my very own brand of manure. I was interpreting every look, gesture, body movement, etc. when I really just needed to relax and let my own anxieties go. I was watching Shea in the same way I 'felt like' people were watching me...so really I was just wallowing in my very own brand of B.S. I've been watching her for the 'great melt-down/temper tantrum/ fall apart' and it hasn't come yet. She is doing well. She actually went out to dinner with a friend and enjoyed her time away from the house. The doctors had asked her to start an infusion of potassium tonight (It would have lasted until 4 in the morning), but she turned them down cold. Something about needing a quality of life in the midst of fighting for her life. So she called B.S. on that one, went to dinner and will start the infusion at nine in the morning. The doctors will continue to monitor the quality of the potassium levels in her blood, and we will continue to give her infusions of her "brew" as needed. With luck, medical magic and a blessing thrown in for good measure, Shea will receive her second round of chemo on Friday. I'm proud of her and I'm also surprised that Shea hasn't popped me one yet...so here's what I propose...1. Everyone continue to do what they feel good about doing and everyone (translated to mean mainly me) can stop trying to interpret it 2. I'll stop over analyzing everyone else and decrease under analyzing myself 3. Let's all start (or keep on as the case may be) spreading sunshine all along our way...whether we are scattering sunshine of the happy sort or scattering sunshine of the bovine type...it's all good and I believe that the world needs a little bit of both (opposition in all things and that stuff). And thanks, Lanta....I really needed that!