Procrastination Takes Coordination

Okay....so here I am, adding another post. Mainly to quell the rumours that I have fallen off the face of the earth (sorry to disappoint some of you..heehee). And can I just say that part of the reason why I have waited so long to post is the fact that this stupid I-Pad truly drives me crazy. already it has wanted to change rumours to dimples , heehee to hedged and quell to quack. It gets rather irritating to change those things back a few times just because the computer is much, much smarter than me....so that drives me crazy. That being said, that is only partially the reason why I have waited so long to blog again. The real reason is because I have enjoyed pretending to be "normal"for the last several weeks. See, in my other "normal" life, I hate to write. I mean really, really, really hate it. I procrastinated every writing assignment from junior high on through grad school....waiting until the last bitter moment for my 'muse' to kick in ( I learned that my 'muse' is basically Nacho Cheese Doritos chased by some Coke or Dr. Pepper depending on which decade we are talking about). So basically, I would rather have a homemade bikini wax (now there's a story......) than write. It was very surreal for Shea and I to go through a few days of notoriety leading up to the benefit. We were on an amazing radio show...the Freak Show, no less....and yes, the irony was not lost on me. Basically, because when you ares a member of the CCC, you spend a fair amount of your life feeling somewhat like a freak. So we really appreciated the fact that these guys made "freak" look good....and I mean really good. And nice....as in really, really nice. Shea and I were both ready to vomit with nerves when we pulled into the parking lot, but after being assured not to worry since "no one ever listens to this radio station anyway", we settled down....Shea in front of a mic and me on a back bench far, far away from a mic which is a good thing, since I like to talk as much as I hate to write. If I could figure out how to talk all day and get paid for it, I would......oh, wait.....I already did hahaha. So after a wonderful time on the air, we traveled home and prepared for the big benefit night. That is when we realized that it wasn't nerves that Shea was suffering from, but some good old-fashioned tummy upset. She felt so badly about not being able to attend the benefit for the entire time, but she was glad to be able to see some things and participate in the program. I know that it meant so much to her to be able to look out over the crowd and see so many people who care about her and support her. It was a wonderful lift to her spirits. I had to keep wiggling my toes and looking up at the ceiling to avoid bawling like a stupid baby all night. It was beyond words incredible. I will never be able to pay back or pay it forward.....the hours and dedication in our behalf was so huge. It was so fantastic, we had so many people tell us that they had never witnessed something so amazing in Brigham City.......so from my heart to all of yours....many thanks! Unfortunately, Shea had a very bad few days following the benefit. It is much harder for her to bounce back from any activity that she is able to participate in. She goes for another infusion on the 15th and then will run through the series of in-depth scans on the 22nd. We will meet with her doctor and oncology team on the 29th to hear about the promised "options", so we are getting anxious to hear what they are going to say/suggest. The other day I was in Pleasant Grove visiting some friends. I had a few minute before I needed to leave for Salt Lake, so I attended their city 'Promenade'...a kind of a craft show/farmer's market/get together. When I was there, I saw a lady advertising that she could "read faces". Needless to say, I was intrigued. I have always been curious about all of that hocus-locus kind of stuff, and I thought for five bucks...what the heck. I was walking up to lay down the money and fully expecting to hear "Oh.....your face is saying 'dang, I sure am old!' and 'do you think you could maybe moisturize once in a while?'" when a lady in a track suit shoved on by me. Soooo, no reading of the face......and here is the dumb thing. It keeps bugging me. You would think that I would dwell on the credit crisis (no, not mine....the governments. Although Kelt wishes I would dwell on mine a little bit more LOL) , or the fact that school is about to begin or on Shea's cancer....but, no! I have to continually think about that stupid face reading (and yes Bishop....I know what you are going to tell me and you are absolutely right of course), but there it is. It is almost as if I think she can look at my face and say to me, "Hold on for just two/ten/twenty-four more oaths and all of this Huntsman crap will be over". I just do better when I have a deadline looming. I like them, they make me comfortable. If I had a deadline, I could eat Doritos and guzzle Coke right up to the end and right before it was through.....BAM....I could stand up, do the cancer thing, turn it back over to God and then wait for the final grade......just like the papers back in school. Because I am brilliant when it comes to procrastination....that I can do. And I oh so want to procrastinated everything that cancer and the Huntsman stand for, because the hardest thing right now is to just keep keeping on. My feet hurt, and I'm tired of playing the game. And the thing that hurts the worst is watching the toll that this takes on Shea. It is really driving me crazy....just like the Face Reader. Anyone want to go for a drive to Pleasant Grove anytime soon? Doritos and Coke required.